What defines me

Music.
Music is what keeps me going, keeps me motivated, and makes me feel emotions so deep down that I didn't even know they existed. Music has always been a part of my life and there was never a moment of performing music that I took for granted. It was always my goal to get those listening to feel some sort of emotion while listening to the music that I was performing. Music is what puts the emotions one is supposed to feel at certain times in movies and shows.
If the music is not only instrumental, there is always something behind the lyrics. The songwriter wrote them for a reason and that reason will always be different for each person who hears them and processes them through their mind,their emotions, and their memories.
Sometimes music leaves me longing for something I don't have, either anymore or will never have. Sometimes music leaves me ecstatic and singing at the top of my lungs. Sometimes music goes burning through my veins and I dance without abandon as Maximus shakes his head at me with embarrassment. Sometimes music makes me cry.
No matter what music does to me, music will always define me in some way and I will always be able to apply music to every aspect of my life. Music is a beautiful thing that ignites my soul.

Silver Lining

There are people who enjoy life and there are people who enjoy other people's lives and there are those who are stuck in between. Those are the people that have their life, and its not a bad life, it's just that they want something else. A life someone else has. It can be anything from wanting to dress the same way or have the same facial structure. Live in the same house or eat the same foods. Have their job or their significant other, or the freedom of no attachment. And it could very well be a compilation of everything.
The ironic thing is, the person being envied in this situation is probably dissatisfied themselves. We either want more, what we can't have, or upgraded things. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. And if it is greener, it is probably poisonous.
Majority of the time, it is hard to be happy with what we have when all our minds are focused on is what's to come. It is so simple just to lean back and see the great, yet possibly insignificant things we have in life that we are constantly taking advantage of. Like right now, I am sitting in bed, contemplating this and taking advantage of the fact that I have a comfy bed to sleep in tonight, a roof over my head, and a thermostat that I can change to my desired mood of temperature.
Yes, there are things in life I aim to gain and I look to others for examples of such things, however, I try not to forget what I do have and how fortunate I am to be where I am and where I'm heading. Trust me, it could be a lot worse.

The Great Pretenders

There is a book I am reading...well, more accurately, just finished, and basically, it highlights the true life of a mega-movie star and how they are nothing like the characters they are on screen. Well, Duh! There wouldn't be need for those characters if they existed in our reality. Anyways, as I was reading this book, it struck me (and my writing brain), that actors may be the great pretenders, but writers are the biggest liars around. They have to web this fictional story of make-believe characters and make sure they keep track of all these "lies" they are describing. If all of their 't's aren't crossed and their 'i's aren't dotted and all loose ends are not tied up, someone will find the loop hole in their story and they will never be trusted as an author again, for that person.
Okay, that seems dramatic, but think about it.
As readers, we THRIVE on these lies and unrealistic stories. And as movie goers, we LOVE to see stories played out and fall in love with these characters that simply do not exist.
It is no wonder that our world is filled with deceit and infidelity, and drama and gossip, and he-said-she-said, and no trust, and the list goes on and on and on.
But within these lies of stories that we relish and let our emotions run high on, there are stories of happiness, and love, and loss, and recovery, and family, and friends, and unexpected surprises, and beauty. That is why I love the fictional realities I consume my time with and why I write my "web of lies". To show all sides of humanity and all sides of emotions. To show hope in a world of sorrow. To show love in a society consumed by hate.

Why do you subject yourself to a life that isn't yours?

Damn money sucking corporations

Another day, another dollar. Or, in my case, another dollar spent. It's birthday time around my household and all I can think about is spoiling those I love and myself (because yes, my birthday is around here too). But then, after all is said and done, the $ amount haunts me and I think "Why in the hell did I spend that much money?!" Oh wait, that's right. Because I'm a consumer. Hmm, buyer's remorse. What a soul sucking, happiness sapping thing.
Even though I feel this evil emotion after my purchases, I still don't return things because I convince myself it will all be okay eventually and I'll get over it. I do, of course, because I enjoy my items that have caused such turmoil.
I also feel guilty because my husband, Maximus, is incredibly smart with our finances AND he's the money maker, so I'm spending his money willy-nilly. Somehow, that still doesn't stop me. Ugh. The travesties of life and shopping.

Judgey McJudgerton

Can someone tell me why judging is so important to you? To everyone? We say we don't judge, we say we don't care what others think. However, you know that when someone screams or whispers or suggests WALMART!! you instantly have a picture of those that partake in shopping there. Hell yes, I admit I am right there with you. I know that if I troll around walmart in my sweatpants, no make-up, and hoodie, I will still be among the "elite". But there is that little part of me that cares about what other people think, therefore, I get dressed in nice jeans, nice shirt, and nice shoes to do my shopping at Target. More likely with a Starbucks coffee in hand. Oh well. That's just who I am.
I wish I didn't judge so quickly, but who can say they don't? There is this little thing called first impressions that cause us to attempt our best for the benefit of those around us. God, why can't things just be simple, easy, and natural!
My advice, just be happy.
Be happy with who you are and those that really matter and have a permanent place in your life (more like, DESERVE that permanent place in your life) will support you as long as you are happy and healthy.
Nobody else should matter.
Nobody.
However, those nobodies opinions hold more weight.

Why

Is

That?